Megan

boygirlboy @ 2007-03-31T11:52:00

2007-03-31T15:53:28Z

I am getting married...

I am going to have a BIG party after i get married...

anyone who wants to come to my party..

email me your address and who you want to come..

megapopa@yahoo.com

boygirlboy @ 2007-03-29T18:29:00

2007-03-29T22:30:42Z

I AM GOING TO BE A MOTHER...
TIM IS GOING TO BE A FATHER...
I AM SO HAPPY.
NOW KRISTINA AND I CAN BE PREGNANT TOGETHER.
YAY

AND I DONT WANT TO HEAR ANYTHING NEGATIVE ABOUT IT.

Cross your fingers

2007-03-27T17:19:50Z

There is only one thing that i want in this world right now.
A baby.
And i might get one.
i have to wait a couple days before I find out though.
I'm DUE tomorrow..
So if i dont get it. ill take a test on friday or saturday, just in case I'm late due to stress.
Ill post when i find out anything.
I dont want to get my hopes up, but its so hard not to.
Cross your fingers.
I'll update again on friday or saturday.

boygirlboy @ 2007-03-03T10:46:00

2007-03-03T15:55:19Z

Yea i know..its a been a while. Every time i swear that i am going to try harder i end up not posting at all...

I'm ENGAGED. and in love.

Yes. to Tim.

The wedding will be sometime in march, next year...or the year after.

Nobody ever told her not to speak with a full mouth

2007-01-18T18:40:07Z

Tim is losing more and more wieght. And i will be the first to say i am feeling threatened. He gains more and more confidence, and i...am at a stand still. I bearly eat. and hardly sleep, and when i do its always like 12 or 13 hours or more...i am depresed...and utterly hopeless.
I go to school, go to work, come home, and sleep...thats about it.
No sex life, despite the fact that my boyfriend gets hotter and hotter. I dont.
My hair is getting longer. thats all i have going for me.
He is posting new pictures on myspace without me. I had to BEG him to do it before. Now he as all this confidence...and i am happy for him... I just hope he doesnt get too big headed...and leave me.

I love work.
I deal with school
I have NO friend ( i deal with that too)
I have my mother, and my little sisters (who are boy crazy about thier "boyfirends"0
I have tim.

That is all.

I hope your finally understand

2007-01-11T18:42:08Z

I know i dont post anymore. But its a new year...why not make a new attempt. I am content in my life currently. Taking 2 courses on campus and thats cool. 2 online too. Winter break was eventuful, for once. Dusty came home. that was nice. At first he wanted me. he knew that i was with Tim, and he dealt with that well, we flirted, innocently enough. Then he met Amanda. my little sister. that was all fine and dandy, untill my mom put it into his head to go for her. and even that was fine and dandy. Untill dusty decided that because he has no chance with me, and he did like Amanda, or was attracted to her, or something (which AGAIN, i was FINE with), that he was going to TOTALLY ignore me. And of course if you know me, you know that i THREW a fit, by being MEAN to EVERYONE. and of course i know that was the wrong thing to do, but i really cant help it. thats what get when you put a chronically depressed girl into that kind of situation. i didnt know what to do with myself. i fel abandoned. and for my little sister, and i know that that isnt what my little sister wanted, but what could she do. Well..things went on, and i was accused of being jealous and such, but i got over it, and then he went home. Now i find out that his soon to be EX wife is running around with wedding pictures and such. now that pisses me off...It makes Amanda look like a mistress...and the truth of the matter is that Dusty and Heather haven't been together in like 10 months. Dusty is getting divorced...and Heather knows it.

Tim and I on the other hand, and doing wonderful. I am really enjoying spending time with him, and i do so often. I love being with him. i dont know. i mean. Its not something that i would have said 4 months ago... I am throughly happy.

i know i have more to say, but i dont really have the time to type it. I leave for work in a little bit, and i need to find my shoes.

Another day Another 200 dollars

2006-11-03T04:45:42Z

So tuesday I backed into some girls VW Jetta, and now i have to give her 200 dollars so she can get her bumper repainted...Retarded...be because she just got the car repainted I have to do it. Considereing I juat can dissappear. Which sounds much easier. Plus, i wouldnt have to go to school.
I am still thinking about having a baby. I really want one. I would be a good mother. I know i would.
I got a job at movie gallery, I start monday at 12:30. That makes me happy at least. Considering I only had like a half of an interview. and no district interview like i was told i would need. anyway..its all good. More money again. i wont be broke anymore. not like i am now...it is the WORST feeling in the world...being broke. i hate it.
I have no friends again, and i am finally beginning to get tired.
Not that anyone reads this thing anyway.

out.

boygirlboy @ 2006-10-22T21:19:00

2006-10-23T01:19:40Z

I am so fucking fed up. April thinks she can attempt to RUIN my life, by tellling her husband that my boyfriend put the moves on her, which EVERYONE knows is a fucking lie. She is a fucking whore. She wants to sit there and say that Tim told her that he had had a crush on her for a couple months. And that he told her that he wanted a threesome with her and Tony. Now wouldnt any average man want 2 women, (April and I). There are so many holes in her story, and it is so farfetched, I am almost as amused as I am angry, disgusted, and vengeful. I hate her so much. I will NEVER forgive her. And I will NEVER let her have a normal, happy life again.

Another Day In Paradise

2006-10-22T17:08:35Z

So last night, everyone, adult, with the exception of me, decided to get drunk. And at about midnight, my step brother Tony, decided to tell Tim to get the hell out of his house. This was a suprise. When Tim asked why, Tony told him that "April told him everything". Tim was very confused at this moment. Then the story came out. April, drunk, went to Tony, and told him that the night before, Tim had kissed her. But not only had he kissed her, but that he had aslo exposed himself, and "made" April grab his penis, then proceded to ask her to suck his dick. This is the overveiw of the stor however. Anyone that knows April Mei, Lecanto class of 03, knows that she is one crazy bitch. But anyway, here is the full story. Tim was laying on the couch, watching a movie, and my little sister had just gone to bed, and april walked through the room, to use the bathroom. On the way back from the bathroom, Tim confronted April, and kissed her. She then returned to bedroom, and decided that she was going to see how far she could get Tim to go. She then returned to the family room, with a cigarette, and sat next to Tim. He then proceded to expose himself, to her, and asked her to suck his dick. It is unknown what she said, but apperently she declined his offer, and went to bed. Now...what would be the point in grabbing it in the first if she was only doing it to see how far his game would go. Apperently, Tim's game went father than April's did. And upon something like this happening, why wouldn't April, immediatly go into the bedroom and tell Tony what had just happened? The other thing that is confusing is, I called Tim at 11:30, 12:42, and 1:10, and I was on the phone with him from about 2:00 untill about 2:40, when i got home. Everytime I spoke to him, he was in the camper. I know this for a fact, because he was playing football, and he was playing 10 minute quarters. I know because when i came home, the game had 4 minutes left, and the score was 111 to like 24. There is no way in hell that this could have happened in the timeframe that it did. It would have had to happen between 11:50, And 12:30. but Amanda, my little sister, heard Tim get a shower about 12:00. Now on average Tim takes about a 15 minute shower. That leaves us 15 minutes for April to go the the bathroom, get kissed, then return to her bedroom, decide how far to take it, then RETURN to Tim, and for the whole touch/suck thing to go down. It is fucking retarded. I can't believe that April would do something like this.

Your invited to a NOTHING Saturday night!!

2006-10-22T00:11:44Z

I am so agitated. I dont have a reason to be agitated. I am currently taking it out on everyone I know. I am in a hateful, and mean mood. I feel alone. I am sure that I make myself feel that way, and that I have no reason too, but I do. I want someone to want to spend time with me. I want someone who seeks me out above all others. I mean I know that I have Tim, because he has to seek me out, I am his girlfriend... I am not looking for pitty, or sympathy, just a place to try to explain myself. I feel like I am slipping. I quit my job, and I do NOT like being the supported one. I am usually the one who brings in more money, and therefore, I have money to spend on myself and who ever else. I have nothing now. I have money that Tim made, that I feel i dont deserve. I would like to go out, but I know Tim doesn't really want to. i tried to get a hold of JoE or Kristina, and they are both out, or working, or busy, and that is totally understandable. We only started talking again yesterday. So I am sitting here. In my camper..Alone. Probably all night.

boygirlboy @ 2006-10-12T22:09:00

2006-10-13T02:20:20Z

Denny left Izzy 8 million dollars!!!

Holy shit!!!

Thats real love.

Now I CAN'T wait until next week!!!

Life, on the other hand, is good. I quit my job, don't have a car, and I driving a truck that gets ten miles to the gallon. It's all good though. I am slowly getting happier. But i still cry at any country songs that even hint at a sad, or loving, or happy lyric. Besides that, I am now trying to get a job, and go to school, and simply deal with life.

Numb

2006-10-03T18:07:34Z

Right now, I find life so unfufilling. I don't enjoy anything anymore. I destroyed my little pontiac grand am, so i was driving my dad's silverado 3500 dualey truck, which gets a whooping 9 miles to the gallon. Then when i couldn't handle spending 80 dollars to fill up the tank anymore, I decided to drive my father's buick century, and it gets better gas mileage, but there is no point to driving it, because all i ever hear is how I messed up this or screwed up that. I was so agitated with it. Now for everyone who remembers, last year, I had a little yellow Geo Storm. Well two weeks ago I bought a little PINK Geo Storm. I just need to get it running. and i like pink. its fun. But even that doesn't really make me happy.

I live my life to sleep, work, go to school, and shower, and eat, sometimes, and do homework. And I really find nothing satisfies my need for life. Sometimes I play playstation. Sometimes i look at the computer screen. Sometimes I play with my Nephews.

Tim has a job, Sammi and Manda have school, and boys, and lives, and they only need me occasionally. And i can deal with that, they are growing up and finding themselves. But i dont feel like anyone needs me anymore. And that breaks my heart. I mean I still makes Tim's dinner and stuff, but other than that...laundry..and thats it. I dont feel sexual anymore. I feel numb, still, and i dont know what to do about it. I love my family, and i know i dont give enough to them. And I know i should give more. But i just dont have the energy.

I want to be happy. And i can't be. I don't have it in me. I want to feel alive, and needed and wanted. I want to have a baby. Someone to need me. For me to love.

From now on...dont talk to me.

2006-07-18T15:43:01Z

Do i bring it upon myself...am i supposed to be sitting alone...in a fucking camper that is supposed to be my bedroom...crying..because i am caught between a mother who is never happy with anything i do, and a boyfriend who hate being in my mothers house...Am i supposed to be screamed at on both ends...am i supposed to have no friends...because i was willing to give them all up to be with a man who yells at me...and although he has never hit me...isnt being screamed at just as bad...he has his moments...we all do...but i dont like being yelled at...and yes...i do my share of yelling too..probably moreso than he does...but he knows i am not moving to his dads/sisters house...at least here...we have a room...although it is a camper...and it is uncomfortable...its better than a floor...in a living room...

Yesterday i was talking to jordan...and there are apartments in his building...and he says they are nice...and tim and i could afford an apartment....only 3 bills...and me without a cell phone...maybe ill get my own...ha...not with my credit...

i dont know...i feel so torn...i hate fighting with tim..hate it...but yet..somehow i always manage to say the wrong thing...

and now with my sister yelling at me for not wanting to go to the library... apperently batting 1000....and i am gonna jump into a fucking hole...

boygirlboy @ 2006-06-22T17:10:00

2006-06-22T21:21:40Z

I am so unhappy lately...I really am... and it is no one fault but my own. I mean...I love Tim, and I am finally going to get a chance to spend some time with Katie...Finally...but i dont know...I am still kind of depressed...I am heavy...not healthy..and i know i need to lose weight...without anyone coughing about my being fat...or telling me for that matter..I know that i am and i know that i need to change it. but the problem is that i dont..and it is my own fault. I just wish sometimes...i was skinny. I think that maybe my life would be so much easier if i didnt have a weight issue. and happier... maybe..So i guess i need to lose some weight...well...alot of it. especially if i want to have children...soon.

boygirlboy @ 2006-05-29T17:11:00

2006-05-29T21:24:48Z

AAAHHH i am so aggravated...all i wanted to do was spend my monday with my tim...and where am i? sitting in the family with amanda...doing nothing...posting maybe...i mean...it is so boring...and even when he is in the room he still ignores me...i really wish i could shoot myself. of go away...for a long time...its not as if anyone would notice me...no one ever notices me...unless they want money. if they want money than it is a totally different story. i am their best friend. i almost wish that i could run away. or drive away. or fly away. i guess i am just feelin depressed. not that anyone cares. shoot me...in the face...twice.

boygirlboy @ 2006-03-29T13:10:00

2006-03-29T18:18:38Z

I don't know exactly what is up with me lately. I woke up, and i was thinking about John. Upon thinking about why...i realized that I have been dreaming about him. Realistically. In my dream I was hanging out with Jordan, and John showed up, and we got to talking, and at first, it was weird. I mean like I know it was a dream, but it had that realistic awkard feeling. Then they told me that they wanted me to go to a Green Day concert with them, and I had to go search for tickets, and I couldn't find one, so I call Jordan and tell him, and he gets John, and since I cant go to the concert, we hang out for a while, then Jordan has to leave, and John stays and hangs out. We sit and play football on playstation, and I actually enjoy it. Then, as we are talking and getting along, we decide to get in the pool, and in the pool is where he pulls me really close, and kisses me. Then I find out that he bought me a ticket, and we kiss again. Then, I woke up. I really dont understand what any of this means. I mean. I know that I miss John, occasionally. But I dont think about him when I am awake. Only when I am alseep.

I did do good yesterday, I got my housing, and classes, and everything done yesterday. Now I only have to push myself to call up the guy I hit, and ask him to fill out the paper so my liscence doesn't get suspended. I also need to fix my car. further.

Life is great. Tim and I get along great, rarely fighting. And i have like 19 days left of school I think. But then i will have to give up my laptop I think. that will be a sad day. I really dont want to. I am so attatched to my laptop. I dont know what I am going to do without it.

Tuesday I will find out what room, and what residence I will be in next year. I also have my schedule for next year.

On Monday Wednesday and Friday I have 3 classes.
On Tuesday and Thursday I have 2 classes.

MWF 11:30 - 12:20 MAT 151 College Algebra
MWF 1:30 - 2:20 SSC 102 Global Perspectives
TTH 9:30 - 10:50 SCI 101 Physical Science
TTH 12:30 - 1:50 HTY 121 United States History to 1865
TTH 4:30 - 5:50 PHI 101 The Quest for Wisedom

I think that I may look for another class, But I dont know yet. I have a long way to go before I have to worry about going to these classes.

Just another happy fucking day

2006-02-06T05:33:27Z

You know...it started out great...we were getting along, rarely fighting...and now...im not sure if its me or if its him...or both of us...but it fucking sucks...and what sucks even more...is knowing that it used to be better...I know i pick fights...and i know he does too..but it sucks knowing that could be better...With him...and neither us do anything about it...He thinks i am too controling...and I think he doesn't pay enough attention to me...but I am to the point...were I am going to give up....I dont mean dump him...i mean...just give in...let him do everything he wants to do without complaint...be unhappy...untill I kill him...and go to jail.

Now and Then...

2006-02-01T19:53:23Z

High school was so easy...everyone told me where to go, and what classes to take...
College...is so different...classes are at different times everyday...and the classes are so different...
I am so...off the wall...bored...I dont have class till 3:30...on thurdsay...its 3...on tuesday, its 6...its so confusing...

I have been having a great time at college...I love it... and I think that it is really good for me.

I think that If i didn't have Jodi here, i wouldn't be as happy as i am here...But other people...i would like to hit some other people...it would be extrememly relaxing to hit some people. I know that sounds odd...but its true...it would be relaxing..

I have been doing fairly well in my classes...Not that any of them are that challenging...But i like all of them...alot.

I am finally, probably getting a car..hopefully...its not in the best shape...but its a car...it needs a new hood, and a new front quater panel...thats about 300 bucks...and i dont have any money at the moment...but hopefully...we will change that...

boygirlboy @ 2006-01-27T01:34:00

2006-01-27T06:50:44Z

So much has happened in the course of one week.

I got my laptop, and my meal plan fixed on moday.

On Tuesday, Jodi and i went to class, and she got really agravated with her roommate, and instead of letting me kill her...We went home, after we picked up Tim. So that night, we slept in the camper and cuddled, and then i felt alot better.

On Wednesday, I didn't come back to school until 12, then i went to class. Then I ate lunch, and then i went to my other class, then I went back to my apartment, then i went to sleep.

On Thursday, I woke up, and discovered that the rabbit had eaten my cell phone charger cord, and also, that my cell phone was dead. So i had to talk to my sister online, which turned into a fight about my desktop computer. So I am taking that home for my sister to use, untill she gets her computer fixed.

On Friday, this morning. Like fifteen people were drinking in my apartment as the girls got ready to go to Ybor. And Donna (my roomate), fought with her boyfriend...

And now..I am going to sleep.

boygirlboy @ 2006-01-18T20:39:00

2006-01-19T01:43:44Z

I'm sitting here watching American Idol...and it is just a breath of stale air. I mean. I think that I would love to try out, but i really dont think that my voice is good enough. I mean. It may be good enough to get to hollywood...but what are the chances of me making past hollywood. I mean, honestly, how many fat girls make it to the show? I guess...I just don't have the confidence...But really, I don't think I would even care. I mean, if I went in there, and they told me that I sucked. I would agree with them. I mean, I have an ok voice, but i am NO Kelly Clarkson, or Carrie Underwood. I do think I could give Fantasia a run for her money though.

I guess I'm just looking for assurance.

Jessica Ceira from last season...had a stalker...that kind of freaks me out.

Have You Ever?

2006-01-18T05:11:38Z

[?] I am bisexual or homosexual.
[x] I've consumed alcohol.
[ ] I've run away from home.
[x] I have lied to my parents about where I am.
[ ] I don't like Bush because from what I hear, he is dumb.
[x] I don't like Bush with my own reasons to back it up.
[ ] I am for Bush.
[ ] I listen to political music.
[ ] I collect comic books.
[x] I shut others out when I'm depressed.
[ ] I open up to others easily.
[ ] I am keeping a secret from the world
[x] I watch the news.
[ ] I own over 5 rap CDs.
[ ] I own an iPod or MP3
[x] I own something from Hot Topic
[x] I love Disney Movies.
[x] I am a sucker for hair/eyes
[x] I don't kill bugs.
[x] I curse regularly.
[x] I paid for that cell phone ring.
[x] I am a sports fanatic.
[ ] I have "x"s in my screen name.
[ ] I've slipped out an "lol" in a real conversation.
[ ] I love Spam.
[x] I bake well.
[x] I would wear pajamas to school.
[x] I own something from Abercrombie.
[x] I have a job.
[ ] I love Martha Stewart.
[x] I am in love with love.
[x] I am guilty of tYpInG lIkE tHiS.
[x] I am self conscious.
[x] I like to laugh.
[ ] I smoke a pack a day.
[ ] I loved Perks of Being a Wallflower.
[x] I loved Go Ask Alice.
[x] I have cough drops when I'm not sick.
[ ] I can't swallow pills.
[x] I can swallow about 7 pills at a time no problem
[x] I eat fast food weekly.
[x] I have many scars.
[ ] I've been out of this country
[x] I believe in ghosts.
[x] I can't sleep if there is a spider in the room.
[ ] I am really ticklish.
[ ] I see a therapist.
[x] I love white chocolate.
[x] I bite my nails.
[x] I am comfortable with being me.
[x] I play video games.
[x] Gotten lost in your city
[x] Saw a shooting star
[ ] Been to any other countries besides the united states
[ ] Had a serious surgery
[x] Gone out in public in your pajamas
[x] Kissed a stranger
[x] Hugged a stranger
[ ] Been in a fist fight
[ ] Been arrested
[ ] Laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
[x] Pushed all the buttons on an elevator
[x] Made out in an elevator
[x] Swore at your parents
[x] Kicked a guy where it hurts
[x] Been close to love
[ ] Been to a casino
[ ] Been skydiving
[x] Broken a bone
[x] Skipped school
[x] Flashed someone
[ ] Saw a therapist
[ ] Done the splits
[x] Played spin the bottle
[ ] Gotten stitches
[ ] Drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
[x] Bitten someone
[ ] Been to Niagara Falls
[x] Gotten the chicken pox
[x] Kissed a member of the same sex
[ ] Crashed into a friend's car
[ ] Been to Japan
[x] Ridden in a taxi
[x] Shoplifted
[ ] Been fired
[x] Ever had a crush on someone of the same sex
[x] Had feelings for someone who didnt have them back
[ ] Stole something from your job
[ ] Gone on a blind date
[x] Lied to a friend
[ ] Had a crush on a teacher
[ ] Celebrated mardigras in New Orleans
[ ] Been to Europe
[ ] Slept with a co-worker
[ ] Been married
[ ] Gotten divorced
[ ] Had children
[ ] Saw someone dying
[ ] Been to Africa
[x] Driven over 400 miles in one day
[ ] Been to Canada
[ ] Been to Mexico
[x] Been on a plane
[x] Seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
[ ] Thrown up in a bar
[ ] Eaten Sushi
[ ] Been snowboarding
[ ] Been Skiing
[x] Met someone in person from the internet
[ ] Moshed
[ ] Been to a moto cross show
[ ] Lost a child
[ ] Gone to college
[ ] Graduated college
[ ] Done hard drugs
[ ] Tried killing yourself
[x] Tried hurting yourself
[x] Taken painkillers
[x] Had someone cheat on you
[x ] Miss someone right now

School, and other things

2006-01-12T19:12:52Z

Back in the apartment after my teaching class...which isn't really even like a class at all...It's more like a drama warm up class... I mean...we play games throughout the whole class...it's fun...but I don't know how much I will learn in this class.

The only other class I have today is my Geoscience Lab. That should be fun. I think I will like this class... Seeing as how I failed my geoscience class at USF.

I am really happy here. I like where I live, and all of the people here are really nice. My classes all seem like that are going to be fairly easy, with a decent amount of work involved.

I am really happy that I have Jodi here too. She makes me feel not so alone. I mean...I know i dont spend all my time with her...but i feel like i can call her if I need too...

I do miss home though. I mean...Looking at pictures...I miss things like missing out on April's delivery, and not being there with my babies.

But, I get to go home tomorrow...so it's not soo bad.

Well, Geoscience at 3....So...Im out.

boygirlboy @ 2006-01-11T16:23:00

2006-01-11T21:27:48Z

I'd like to be the first in my class to announce...that APRIL HAD THE BABY!!!

8 1/2 pounds and 20 inches long..

full head of black hair...

STEVEN RALPH MCQUEEN

A new baby...
yay... i am...excited....i guess...i mean...now i have more time with my other nephews...

Now...Im sick...and i need to do homework...

boygirlboy @ 2006-01-10T17:32:00

2006-01-10T22:33:38Z

if I made enough money...

i am getting myself an ipod.

boygirlboy @ 2006-01-09T18:27:00

2006-01-09T23:33:50Z

Im here, at college...preparing for a day of class tomorrow...I am happy to be here...but i think i may be getting sick. My roommate showed up, she seems very nice. I hope we get along. and if not...its only for 4 months. I am excited about college though...Although now i need to find a job. Hopefully on campus. I would also like to take a spanish class, i have to see tomorrow if i can add it on to my schedule. I will find out everything tomorrow..

I am here, and Jodi has not called me yet. I have decided that i am going to try to become more into school things. Only go home on weekends, and such.

I am slightly homesick however. I know that i will survive. but i miss my Mommy, and my sisters...and my Timmy.